Today was my first day of College.
Not too big of a deal right? Well, I never went to school, and aside for one class that I took a few years ago, my experience in the realm of public schooling is very limited. Therefore, my anxieties were slightly more acute than I wanted them to be.
My solution was to not think about it. This worked marvelously until, well, I got on campus. I can’t not think about it! It’s school for goodness sake! The center of thinking (I hope).
As I tramped across the campus in search of my class rooms I had plenty of time to think. A reservoir that I had created was breached and the thoughts I had locked up crashed down on me.
What kept me afloat? Well, other then my waterproof mascara, was Elizabeth Bennet, Buran, and Jo March, Mara and a little Kate Beckett. Why?
Simple: They either did all of what I was going through that day and made it, or if they had been given the chance to go to school they would have never taken it for granted and had musketeer-ed their way through! In all of those books I’ve read where girls weren’t allowed to go to school or college, Jo for example, had to watch as Laurie squandered away his college experience while she, who would have strived after every lesson, was unable to go. Elizabeth Bennett, skilled in the art of mental strength and independent thought, stayed with me through the entire day. Buran, who went to the end of the world to better her future, dealt with things with tears and callouses, but did it all the same.
Mara who despite being beaten, still would read and learn all that she could.
Kate Beckett. Driven, determined, decided. These things I took from her as I sat down in my last class.
College might trigger some emotional insecurities in me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do it.